Breaking Free from Chronic Loneliness

By Sylvester Ojenagbon

A substantial portion of the global population is reported to experience loneliness, and a subset of that experiences it chronically. Sadly, loneliness is particularly rampant among young adults aged 19-29, with rates going up to as high as 27% in some surveys. About one in four adults experiences loneliness, and around one in five older adults are affected by chronic loneliness, according to the World Health Organisation (WHO). Research shows that more women struggle with chronic loneliness than men.

Loneliness is reportedly a significant issue in Nigeria, particularly among older adults. Studies indicate that a substantial percentage of older Nigerians report feeling lonely or socially isolated.

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Now, loneliness is a subjective feeling of being alone, separate, or apart from others, not just being physically isolated. It is often described as a painful or distressing feeling. You can be in a room full of people and still feel isolated if you lack close connections or relationships.

Unlike transient or situational loneliness, chronic loneliness persists over a prolonged period, which can be weeks, months, or even years, and is often caused by several factors. Starting a new job or school, moving to a new area, becoming a parent, or retiring can all disrupt existing social networks, leading to feelings of loneliness. Also, going through a divorce or breakup, losing a loved one, or experiencing a separation can all lead to social isolation and loneliness.

Experiencing long-term illness or disability, living alone, or having a job that requires constantly working alone can all contribute to loneliness. Having weak or broken ties with family or friends or living in an area where one lacks a strong community network can also lead to loneliness.

Social anxiety can make it difficult to initiate or maintain social interactions, and this can equally lead to isolation and loneliness. People with low self-esteem may believe they are unworthy of connection or friendship, and this often leads them to withdraw from social situations. Again, introverted people may be less likely to seek social connections; this makes them more susceptible to loneliness. Experiences like sexual or physical abuse can likewise make it difficult to form close relationships, thus contributing to loneliness.

As people age, they may experience changes in social roles and reduced mobility. These can increase the risk of loneliness. Furthermore, excessive use of technology, especially smartphones and social media, can lead to social isolation and reduced face-to-face interaction, thus contributing to feelings of loneliness.

The truth is that the impact of loneliness varies significantly based on individual factors such as personality, existing mental and physical health, and social support systems. Some people may be more resilient to loneliness than others, while some may experience its effects more severely. However, the evidence consistently points to a significant impact of chronic loneliness on both mental and physical health.

Studies have shown a link between loneliness and higher rates of heart disease, high blood pressure, and stroke. Loneliness can equally suppress the immune system, thus making people more susceptible to illness. Social isolation and loneliness have likewise been linked to an increased risk of developing type 2 diabetes.

Chronic loneliness can also disrupt sleep patterns, leading to insomnia or poor sleep quality. It can similarly contribute to cognitive decline and increase the risk of dementia. It has equally been found to really up the chances of depression and anxiety disorders.

The stress hormone cortisol is often elevated in lonely people, and, in severe cases, loneliness can contribute to suicidal ideation and self-harm. It is therefore no wonder that studies suggest that loneliness is associated with an increased risk of premature death. In general, loneliness can reduce the overall quality of life, affecting work, social interactions, and leisure activities.

To address the problem of chronic loneliness, you need to be deliberate about building social connections, engaging in meaningful activities, and prioritising self-care. You can join local groups based on your hobbies or interests to meet people with shared passions. You can also seek opportunities to engage in community service, as this provides an avenue to connect with others while contributing to something meaningful.

You can equally make an effort to connect with family and friends, even if it is through simple means like phone calls or video chats, and initiate conversations with people you encounter or come in contact with as you go about your daily life.

It is also advisable to pursue activities you enjoy, whether it is sports, art, music, or anything else that brings you joy. Then learn a new skill, take a class, or try something you have always been curious about to expand your horizons and potentially meet new people.

Going for walks, hikes, or simply spending time outdoors can likewise improve your mood and reduce feelings of isolation. And practice mindfulness and meditation, as these can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings and manage negative emotions that can contribute to loneliness. Then try your best to replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations and focus on your strengths and positive qualities.

Also ensure you are exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, and eating nutritious food, as these can positively impact your mood and energy levels. You equally need to be kind to yourself, especially during difficult times.

If loneliness, however, continues to significantly affect your life, consider talking to a therapist or counsellor, as they can provide the support and guidance you need in building healthy relationships and dealing with feelings of loneliness.

Always remember that building relationships and managing feelings of loneliness take time and effort. So, do not be frustrated or upset if you do not see immediate results as you try to fix your loneliness. Continue to make necessary adjustments and celebrate even little victories. With time, you will overcome the issues that fuel your loneliness and start living your best life.

Ojenagbon, a health communication expert and certified management trainer and consultant, lives in Lagos.